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Writer's pictureSerina Denham

Every Step of the Way

Last week I had the awesome privilege of attending a C-section birth. Something even 5 years ago, if you had asked me, I would never have said I would be in an OR during a procedure like that. I can be fairly easily grossed out and typically avoid dealing with gory things like that. Boy, have I grown! I am proud of that. When your focus shifts to the undeniable need for support during birth, any birth, it's amazing what you can overcome.

Instead of being squeamish, I was awe-struck. Mesmerized. Humbled. Beyond grateful to see, first hand how this birth happens. I recently attended a 3 day, hands-on doula workshop. I will forever be grateful for the tools I learned there. One day was specifically on advocacy. And in this most recent birth, I utilized many of the things I learned.

Being by her side. Literally and figuratively. When plans don't go as planned. When the entire birth plan is basically flipped upside down, fear plays a huge role in the direction of the birth. The anxieties and worries you worked so hard to keep at bay are now doubled by all the new information being thrown at you.

The ultrasounds told us Little B was gonna be around 13 lbs. Any mama would be afraid of the thought of pushing a whole toddler out! On Wednesday, a C-section was then planned for Friday. I told mama, "Watch, you'll go into labor tonight". We laughed. But mama was 41 weeks. It would only make sense for that to happen. Sure enough, 1:31 am I just happened to be awake thanks to my overly clingy cat. My phone dinged. For one, I never would have woke to that little Facebook messenger ding. I looked and saw it was her. I knew from her first message she was in labor. Secondly, I feel as though my heart knew and was just waiting for that text to come through.

From there the whirlwind of events took place. Between waiting to eat or drink for an asinine amount of time, getting hopes up to having the Dr she wanted, to being told it would be better to deliver at a different hospital, to transferring hospitals, to still laboring hard this entire time, to finally getting rolled back into the OR 11 hours later, to mama being complete right as they are finally ready to do surgery. Oh man, Whew! And that is just the major pieces of the journey.

One thing for sure, I was challenged. A lot of what-ifs and fears were presented during this time. Decisions had to be in a short time. Combating the fearful things being thrown at mama was tough. But what if she had been alone during this? Can you even begin to imagine how hard that would have been on her? Advocacy is key.

I am even more empowered to continue my journey as a doula and gain every bit of knowledge I can throughout this path. I am seeing that being by her side and walking every step with her is vital! What an honor and privilege it is to be that for her. Don't underestimate the power of your presence during these trying times.

Supporting a home birth vs a hospital birth is drastically different yet equally as important. I am finding when I talk to people about being a doula, I hear "Oh, so you help at home births!". Yes, I do, but I also help at hospitals and birth centers. Every mama needs support no matter the location or plan for their birth. It's a big job bringing life into this world. Plans get changed whether we want them to or not. Having the right support for each step can make all the difference in even the hardest of birth journeys.

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